Dare to be d4rqk...
Dusty! 09/12/2010
So, here is story number two, this one originated in Iraq's Al Anbar Province.

So I lived in a can next to one of my Cpl.'s we'll call him Ray. Ray comes over to my can after we hit the gym, he and I were going to go take a shower and hit the chow hall, you know like we always did after PT. So, I told him to head off to the shower without me because I wanted to smoke. He said, ok cool no problem and took off to the head. I lit my Club Royal Menthol King Size that I had gotten off of the barber in exchange for a burnt DVD of some anime. Next row over I hear a can door open and shut and footsteps coming toward my can. What do you know, some PFC from Engineers had heard through the grapevine that I modded PSPs, so after some savvy business discussion, he happily left for Dispersing to pull the cash and I took his PSP Fat edition into my can and setup everything to flash his firmware. I turned around to see a puppy climbing it's way into my can. Confused, I was like hrmmm lets see if it wants some beef jerky. So I reached under my rack and pulled out a pouch of jerky, immediately the pup loved me, licking and eating anything in sight that looked edible. I heard a little bit of banging come from the can next to me, so I went over and knocked on Ray's can, he opened the door and was like, "Dude this fucking dog wouldn't stop following me!" I was like, "Dude there is a puppy in my can!" He shakes his head and starts laughing, "It's prolly the same dog that followed me." He comes over and we decided we wanted to keep it, but to do so it would HAVE to be a secret. I hopped in the shower and he watched the pup, when I came back and we got changed we went down to the ASP and asked our friend Paul if he had any room to setup a little living area for the pooch, he said he could and so we hooked this little mutt up with a living space big enough for 3 men that had A/C! Then we hit the chow hall and snagged some extra meat scraps and bottles of water for the pooch and it just became our little thing to do, I named the dog dusty, due to the fact that we washed it up and sure as shit it was a completely different color. This secret ended up slipping out when Dusty was old enough to get some umph behind his bark. Soon Officers and Senior Enlisted personnel would stop by the ASP in order to play with the dog. We all tried our hardest to see if we could get the right paper work to bring him home but it just ended up falling though. We ended up handing Dusty off to the SEALs when they swapped out with us. Dusty was a good dog, we felt bad leaving him behind but there was nothing we could do. After we got back to the states we were just bullshitting around and somehow it came to pass that Dusty wasn't even a dog, he was in fact an Arabian Wolf, pretty weird, eh?

Anyhow that is all for today, there is more to the story but this is already a decent length post. Feel free to comment.
My wife and I were talking and she suggested that I should make a blog page of stories from the military, she says that people might enjoy them. So let me open up with a story I was reminded of earlier on today. When I woke up late(r) today I kinda jumped up like I used to when I woke up late for work in the Corps. I mean it was Monday and I didn't wake up until about 2:30pm (1430 for you military folk), my kids started school recently so I was like, "Oh shit! I forgot to take Vea and Jr. to school!" after which I realized it was a holiday. So, anyhow back to the story... 

When I woke up late in the Marines, I knew I had two options, neither of which was good. One, call in, hope someone answers you and prep yourself for thew mental/physical/social ass whoopin that was to come with not being a punctual individual who lacked discipline. OR, one could do as I so cleverly did, If I woke up late, the first thing I would do is, shut my phone off, go downstairs to the circuit breaker and trip the main off and then back on, then plug the phone in downstairs and head back upstairs to bed. When you are ready to get up and you are sure that there wont be much left for you to do that days, you wake up, go downstairs grab your phone, turn it on and call your boss. Say, "Oh, good afternoon Staff Sergeant, I know I am in trouble, though I have a reasonable explanation." Ssgt. Patten would then respond, "Which is?!" "Oh, my power went out last night, so it reset my clocks, to include my alarm." "What about your phone?" "Oh, that was off, it died before bed so I plugged it in." "Well, you are lucky Tanksley, I'll tell the 1stSgt. something, just get your ass in here!" "Roger that Ssgt." Goto work looking your best and get off in a few hours with nothing but the same ass chewing you would have gotten normally. I know some of you are going to say that was underhanded and lucky of me. Guess what, I did that every time I woke up late, except the first time, where do you think I got the idea?

People usually accept lies for the truth, especially if they are completely believable but highly unlikely, I have yet to figure this out, someday though I am sure it will hit me like a ton of bricks. If you served with me, this is how I did it, I mean shoot all bases covered, I had the clocks all flashing 12:00. I'm not saying to lie to your employers, I am just saying, weigh your options, if you are screwed anyhow, why not get a full nights rest beforehand? lol ---END---